I’m writing this to you from my farm in Balaklava, South Australia.
It’s Sunday afternoon, and I have just come inside from watching my daughter Carmen work with her horse, Arty.
If you’ve been following along, you know Carmen has three Knabstrupper horses, Ted, Arty and Hero, beautiful spotted horses with unique temperaments. She’s been practicing Liberty training with Arty for the past three years, and what I witnessed today reminded me why I started The Awareness Contrarian in the first place.
But let me explain…
What is Liberty Training?
In natural horsemanship, “Liberty” refers to working with a horse without any physical restraints—no ropes, no halters, no bridles. The horse is completely free to leave at any moment. The entire practice is built on trust, consistency, and clear communication. You’re not controlling the horse. You’re creating a relationship where the horse chooses to stay with you. One of the most important lessons Carmen said she has learned through liberty work is the significance of body language, energy, and authenticity with the horse.
She started this work with Arty when he was just a year old. It’s formed the foundation of their entire relationship, and his progression into a ridden horse.
But here’s what makes Liberty training so profound:
Liberty can feel counterintuitive
At some point, the horse will walk away. Test the boundaries. The horse may question why should I stay? What is the point in this exercise? I do not understand what you are asking?
As the ‘leader’ in this situation you must truly be at peace with the fact, it’s ok that they may leave. How else will they know that it is safe, or nice to be with you if they never leave?
Therefore, Liberty can feel deeply counterintuitive because human nature often leans towards control. This tendency appears even within a discipline that is supposedly built around freedom and choice.
Carmen shared with me that many trainers unconsciously try to control every aspect of a liberty session: where the horse moves, how long they stay engaged, and what response they should give. However, authentic liberty requires letting go of that mindset. You have to genuinely accept that the horse has a choice to leave, disengage, or question what you are asking. That can be uncomfortable because it forces you to confront the reality that trust and connection cannot be forced.
In many ways, liberty becomes less about controlling the horse and more about learning to control yourself: your emotions, expectations, body language, and energy. Only when the horse feels they truly have freedom of choice can their decision to remain with you become meaningful.
If you want to see Carmen’s Liberty work with Arty you can follow her Instagram: @Koster.Equestrian
The Uncomfortable Truth
Carmen told me something this morning that stopped me in my tracks:
“Even if I faked being okay with Arty leaving me, it wouldn’t work. He could sense the inauthenticity immediately.”
Think about that for a moment.
Horses can’t communicate the way we do. They don’t understand words or explanations.
But they can sense, instantly, when you’re not being genuine.
Carmen discovered that as long as she was secretly hoping Arty would stay, as long as she was holding onto that desire for control, he would leave more often.
But the moment she truly let go, the moment she made peace with him leaving, he began to stay.
Not because she was controlling him.
But because he felt safe. She began being a genuine leader for Arty.
“When Things Are Not in Control, That’s When You’re Most in Control”
This wisdom came from Carmen’s coach during a particularly challenging lesson.
It was a cold, windy day. The kind of day where horses get unsettled and cautious.
Her coach suggested working Arty at liberty in an open area, that had access to a road, not enclosed, completely free.
Carmen’s immediate reaction was panic: “But he’ll run away.”
Her coach simply replied: “When things are not in control, that is when you are most in control.”
Despite her reluctance, they worked at liberty in those conditions.
And Arty never left once.
He found security in staying with Carmen, even though he was completely free to run.
That experience changed everything for her.
It showed her that Liberty training isn’t about physical control. It’s about creating enough trust and safety that the horse wants to remain with you, even when they’re free to leave.
The Same Principle, A Different Context
As Carmen was telling me this story, I couldn’t help but think about my own breakthrough moment, the one that led to everything I teach today.
For 30 years, I was trapped by a debilitating stutter.
I tried everything. Therapy. Techniques. Positive thinking. Breathing exercises.
Nothing worked.
Then one day, I was walking down a corridor at the medical clinic where I worked.
A thought arose: “I’m going to stutter when I walk into that waiting room.”
For three decades, my response to that thought had been the same: fight it, suppress it, try to control it.
But in that moment, for reasons I still can’t fully explain, I did something different.
I allowed it.
I didn’t fight the thought. I didn’t try to change it. I didn’t try to think positively.
I just… let it be.
And in that 6-second moment of allowing, my speech became fluent.
Not because I fixed something.
But because I stopped trying to.
The Liberty Principle
Do you see the parallel?
Carmen couldn’t fake being okay with Arty leaving. The moment she tried to control whether he stayed or left, he would leave.
I couldn’t fake being okay with the thought of stuttering. The moment I tried to control whether the thought arose or not, the stutter would intensify.
But the moment Carmen truly let go, made peace with Arty leaving, he stayed.
And the moment I truly allowed the thought, made peace with it being there, my speech became fluent.
This is what I call the Return to Being.
It’s not about controlling your thoughts, your circumstances, or your outcomes.
It’s about returning to a state of Being where you’re no longer at war with what is.
This is the foundation of Awareness Intelligence.
The Awareness Method has three steps:
(1) ALLOW – Let thoughts, emotions, sensations, fears, urgencies, and stories be exactly as they arise in your consciousness without trying to fix, change, or push them away. Drop the impulse to solve or escape them. Simply allow and let be without identifying with them.
(2) BECOME AWARE – In meeting the mind exactly as it is, you become aware that the experiences thinking creates are all of your own making. This is the moment of freedom from the mind. Thoughts seem real when they appear, but they have no true reality. See their projections and deny them reality. Recognize that thinking simulates Being but is not Being itself. The ultimate truth is: “You are, all else is appearance.”
(3) RETURN TO BEING – Allow without having any particular outcome in mind. This process of allowing erases the perception of Self, opens a space of not knowing, and creates availability for Awareness itself to guide you. Rather than being ruled by mind, Awareness becomes the guiding intelligence. You act from Being, not hyperreality. Insightful and creative solutions arise naturally. Decisions and actions are informed by clarity, not reaction. The third step is not a step you take but is a step that takes you.
Liberty training is the perfect metaphor for this.
You can’t force the horse to stay. You can’t fake being okay with them leaving. You can’t control the outcome.
But you can create the conditions, through your own state of Being, where the horse chooses to stay.
The same is true for your thoughts, your decisions, your business challenges.
Where Are You Gripping Too Tightly?
Here’s what I’ve discovered working with entrepreneurs over the past 15 years:
Most of us are trying to control what can’t be controlled.
We’re gripping the reins so tightly that we’re creating the very resistance we’re trying to avoid.
Decision paralysis? That’s trying to control the outcome before you’ve even made the decision.
Mental struggle? That’s trying to control which thoughts are “allowed” to arise.
Overwhelm? That’s trying to control everything at once instead of allowing things to unfold.
But what if you practiced “Liberty” with your thoughts?
What if you stopped trying to control whether they stay or leave, and instead focused on creating the conditions, through your own Return to Being, where clarity naturally emerges?
This is what I mean by “When things are not in control, that’s when you’re most in control.”
It’s not about giving up or being passive.
It’s about recognizing that true control comes from Being, not from mental manipulation.
The Invitation
I started The Awareness Contrarian because I believe we’re living through a civilizational moment when the old paradigm—build your life online, work harder, control your thoughts, think positive, optimize everything—has become completely obsolete.
The Great Return is humanity’s return to Being as the foundation of reality, not thinking.
And it starts with moments like these:
Carmen with Arty on a cold, windy day.
Me in a corridor at a medical clinic.
You, right now, reading this and recognizing where you might be gripping too tightly.
So here’s my question for you:
Where in your business or life are you trying to control what can’t be controlled?
What would happen if you practiced “Liberty” instead?
Leave a comment below and let me know. I read every response.
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Join the movement. Return to Being.
Until next week,
Dr. Louis Koster
Founder, Awareness Intelligence
P.S. If this resonates with you, read The Awareness Intelligence Manifesto. It’s my declaration of why The Great Return is necessary—and why Awareness Intelligence is the Category of One that AI can never replicate.
P.P.S. Want to see more of Carmen’s Liberty training with Arty? Follow her on Instagram: @Koster.Equestrian