When you find yourself out of step in a relationship and the issues are repetitive and immobilizing, you tend to blame the other person. This usually strengthens the “stuckness” and does not leave you or the other person with a new opening for the relationship.
In a new language for life, rather than blaming the other person for the way things are, you now take responsibility for the dance of the relationship.
In taking responsibility for the dance of the relationship, you let each other be. You stop blaming each other for the breakdowns. You stop pointing fingers at each other.
By your willingness to take responsibility for the dance of the relationship, you create a new opening for the relationship and an opening for the other person to step into a new dance of the relationship—a dance that is more wholesome, contributing, and inspiring.
ABOUT LOUIS KOSTER
Hi, Louis here, author of the inspiring book “A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!” Click here to get a free download of the book. Thanks for checking out my blog posts. If you really want to test your spiritual beliefs, try being a medical doctor in war zones. I’ve been involved as a spiritual teacher, medical doctor and coach in the self-help industry for over 25 years and have developed a number of skills in helping people to awaken to their true nature and live inspired lives. Here Is Who I am & What I Believe.
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This is very helpful and timely fur me. I was wondering how to tell a friend that our stickiness is because of his behaviour. I couldn’t see how he would listen to that and so I saw us as stuck for ever. I think we would have been. I am not sure how to communicate yet with this new language, but I can see that it is essential that I do; if we are to remain friends. I guess I can communicate how I feel, rather than ‘you did….’.
Thank you
Dear Teri, Lovely to hear that this blog was very helpful and timely for you. Taking responsibility for what you are experiencing and being in communication about that is a great place to start in a relationship to move beyond the stuckness. Love and light, Louis.
Sometimes it’s difficult for me to let things be. For example, I’m dating this guy that has four kids I have no child yet simply because I’m very traditional and I believe in marriage before children.anyways I haven’t been to this place and we started dating since February. I had mentioned in the conversation that I will not come to this place if he still has the roommate and now he banks on that statement, saying that he’s waiting to get a place before inviting me it sounds more like bullshit but I don’t know how to delete it. And beginning to grow resentful any shows in little things we do. At first he wanted us to be going out every week and I told him that that wasn’t necessary now we don’t even go out at all he just comes to my house and I’m ready to kick him out like end the relationship……. Honestly I know I don’t want to deal with the four kids issue, i’m an only child with no parents, so I’m tired of having to deal with things that put me on the back burner and this confuses me as to what to do with this man that has good energy around me