Sometimes you find yourself quibbling in a relationship over who is right about what happened in the recent past, or you find yourself arguing about who is more defensive or who started an argument.

The language of “I,” the language of cause and effect, does not work very well in relationships. Does it really matter who has the right interpretation about what happened? Does it matter who started the argument? Does it matter who is more defensive? Who cares who is right? People do things and make choices to the best of their knowledge at that time. People make mistakes. People do silly things. So what!

You can lash out in anger and make a point, but is this going to make any difference?

No one really caused you to be unhappy or upset. Are you willing to let go of this idea? Are you willing to let go of all the reasons you say you are the way you are right now? Are you willing to take responsibility for your experience of life, no matter what the current circumstances of your life are?

The language of “I” does not provide you with an opening to be in the relationship. It does not leave you free to be, no matter what you say. “I” is not interested in “being.” Your best explanation of why things are the way they are does not set you free. In the language of “I,” you become the circumstances of your life and you become the effect of your language for life. There is not a lot of freedom to be in assigning responsibility to the circumstances of your life as an explanation for the way your life is occurring at the moment.

What matters is how do you set yourself free to be? How can you inspire yourself and others in the relationship? How do you manifest yourself and others in the relationship that is inspiring and contributes to life?

What you can do is forgive and let go, which creates an opening for being. Are you willing to let go? Are you willing to step out of the language of “I” and give up any resentment as a gift to yourself and the other person, or others you care for?

The moment you let go of the “I” that wants to hold on and make a point, there is an opening for life and an opening for what is possible; there is an opening for being. You notice that there is a flow; there is a synchronicity; there is oneness with life and an ease in the way your life is unfolding. You notice that miracles start happening in your life.

Have you noticed that once you are freed up and love is present in the relationship, it does not matter anymore who was right or who was wrong and which explanation for what happened was most valid? Can you now see how silly it is to hang on to your considerations?

In letting go, love is present in the relationship and the opportunity arises to manifest life and manifest each other in being great and inspired by life.


Hi, Louis here, author of the inspiring book “A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!” Click here to get a free download of the book. Thanks for checking out my blog posts. If you really want to test your spiritual beliefs, try being a medical doctor in war zones. I’ve been involved as a spiritual teacher, medical doctor and coach in the self-help industry for over 25 years and have developed a number of skills in helping people to awaken to their true nature and live inspired lives. Here Is Who I am & What I Believe.

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