We have all seen the struggles of an insect caught in a spider web. A mere touch of a leg or wing leads to a flurry of activity that serves only to entrap the creature more deeply. We see a similar dynamic at play whenever we resist a situation or put pressure on something to change.

Like a child’s game of tug-of-war, the harder we pull, the more powerful the resistance, and the more exhausted our resources. Our struggle steadily increases, and so, we become effectively stuck in place, despite massive outlays of trying and striving – despite a world of plans and strategies. But can you imagine what would happen if you simply let go of the rope or –shock – let the “negative” energy carry you into a new place?

Do you find yourself wanting happiness, wanting success, wanting dreams to come true? Striving and struggling to make it happen? As I say in my book, when you resist what is happening in your life it becomes the way it is, and you are now stuck with it. You have lost your capacity to manifest your life as your true intentions. Could too much trying be locking you in place, like an insect flailing to dig himself deeper into a web? Like a child, pulling on a tug rope?

Allowing yourself to be present with life’s experiences means being present to the attendant emotions, including “negative” ones like anger, sadness, grief, and death. It is acceptance of life in all of its complexity, dimensions, discomfort and ambiguity.

Students of martial arts know that meeting an attack head-on is the least effective response. Much better to receive an attack and allow that energy to move through or past you. You can engage in an elegant dance with that energy – as the first two minutes of this clip on techniques of Korean Hapkido so beautifully demonstrate.

Is there a lesson for us in this ancient art form? Instead of pushing away and slamming the door on the “bad” that comes your way, allowing yourself to be present may open the door to a new place, to an artful dance of unimagined beauty.

With warm regards,


Photo credit: By toffehoff via Flickr.


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