I, me, mine…

Have you ever used the mechanical click-counters you can hold in your hand to count a number of item or repetitions? Now, a cell phone app can do the same. If you were to use a click-counter to track of how many times a day you said, “I,” what would you discover?

Would you find that you’re a master of the one-sided monologue? Or perhaps the opposite – an other-focused person who directs attention away from themselves? Most of us start out somewhere in between.

What is the source of this “I” focus and language? What does it reflect, how does it limit us, and how does it affect those around us?

“I” experience – a paradigm of separateness

“I” language has many sources – clearly, our native birth language and role models, as well as habit. In some people, excess beyond the norm may reflect self-absorption, while in others it may be assertion of self-importance to elevate the speaker above others via dominance and diatribe. But bottom line, “I” language reflects a paradigm – a world view – that filters our experience into one of “us versus other.” It is the language of separateness, and it serves to disconnect us from others and our wider selves.

Could conversation be a playground for growth?

If you make The Choice, as you allow yourself to be, your language will move away from “I” dominance. As you cease to judge and react to being judged, you will use language that reflects you in greater connection with the world. With The Insight, you are effectively coming from a different place, and your wider awareness will permeate your language.

And what a joy to see a change in how people respond to you. As you share who you really are, you open a door for others to do the same. Conversations become two-way opportunities for your real self to experience more authentic others – creating exciting opportunities for discovery and learning. Imagine conversing not to prescribe a solution, deliver a message, or dominate, but to step with another into the playground of authenticity, primed for growth.

Kind regards,



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