The most important thing, the most difficult thing to do in a relationship, is to gather the courage to step out of the noise of “I” and relate to others as they ought to be.

Living a new language for life, you realize that reacting to the way a person occurs to you reinforces the way they are for you. You find yourself caught in a language for life that keeps an argument persisting and keeps you stuck in the way things are for you.

Reminding yourself and making real for yourself in that moment who a person really is, how you know him or her be to be as loving, gentle, and generous, and relating to him or her in that way, calls you to relate to the person differently and may shift the dynamic of the relationship.

People may forget who they are, or they can get lost in some belief of who they are. But you can remind them of who they are by relating to their essence and the way you know them to be. Taking a stand for who a person really is, despite what they are telling you about themselves or what they want you to believe, is the most courageous act of love that a human being can muster. When you bring yourself to a place where you know who the other person is, no matter what garbage they throw at you, and you do not waver, then this is real for you beyond any agreement. This is where true transformation occurs. This is where love lives in action. This is where you take a stand for what is possible. This is where you honor the dignity of the human spirit. This is where what is possible manifests.

By experiencing who a person really is for you, no matter what the circumstances of the relationship are, you now are an opening for what is already real for you to manifest. You can now let go of your preoccupation and considerations about the way a person is. You can let go of the “I” who wants to change a person or wants the person to be different. You can now just let the person be. You can let go of your complaints about the way they are and your tendency to find evidence for the way they are, and surrender to the universe in manifesting what is already real for you. You literally manifest what you are already experiencing as existing.

Here is where you truly are one with life and one with yourself.

Here is where you honor the dignity of the human spirit. This takes an enormous amount of courage and trust. In this opening of trust and magic space of being, which is beyond any agreement, the universe will respond to you. It cannot do otherwise.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe alluded to this in a beautiful way:

“I have come to the frightening conclusion that I am the decisive element. It is my personal approach that creates the climate. It is my daily mood that makes the weather. I possess tremendous power to make life miserable or joyous. I can be a tool of torture or an instrument of inspiration; I can humiliate or humor, hurt or heal. In all situations, it is my response that decides whether a crisis is escalated or de-escalated, and a person is humanized or de-humanized. If we treat people as they are, we make them worse. If we treat people as they ought to be, we help them become what they are capable of becoming.”

You literally impact reality by relating to people’s essence and treating them as they ought to be. It is nothing short of a miracle when you make this courageous step, stay true to your focus and intention, and what could be in a relationship, manifests.

By already experiencing who a person really is for you, you are relating to the best of a person, even when that person doesn’t believe in him- or herself or is lost in self-importance, self-righteousness, or worse, self-invalidation or victimhood.

You are creating a new dance for life, where the new dance manifests what is possible. A new dance for life where you stop relating to the way a person is for you and you manifest them as they ought to be.


Hi, Louis here, author of the inspiring book “A New Language for Life, Happy No Matter What!” Click here to get a free download of the book. Thanks for checking out my blog posts. If you really want to test your spiritual beliefs, try being a medical doctor in war zones. I’ve been involved as a spiritual teacher, medical doctor and coach in the self-help industry for over 25 years and have developed a number of skills in helping people to awaken to their true nature and live inspired lives. Here Is Who I Am & What I Believe.

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